The Power of Automaticity: Maximizing Your Child’s Amazing, Automatic Brain

 

Our brains are designed to learn.  As your child is growing up, they are exposed to a vast quantity of information.  Most of it they master, with an easeful, automatic process.

When you start teaching your child how to speak, write or read, you notice that you don’t really ‘make’ the learning happen.  It simply happens automatically, when you expose them to the opportunities to learn.

And once children learn how to say “Mommy”, they no longer have to think about how to pronounce the word or where the word comes from.  When they think Mommy they say “Mommy.”  

And while neurologists tell us that this process takes hundreds of millions of brain cells, we just take most of it for granted.  My point here is that…

Children learn almost everything they need to know experientially and automatically, if they are given opportunities to learn.

Why is that so important?  Because the automatic parts of our brain serve to give us a huge advantage over all our competitive species here on the planet.  We have, and our children have, a remarkable ability to acquire information or skills, and very quickly so that we now longer have to ‘think’ about it; we just are able to do it.

If someone tosses us a ball, and we see it coming, we reach out and catch it.  Do we have to think about it?  If you do, you likely drop it.  When you think about fixing your coffee, do you have to think of the steps?  Likely not, and if you do, you are probably having a terrible morning.  Do you have to think about how you’re going to brush your teeth today?  Not likely.

To the extent that life is working out pretty well for us, it’s likely that we give little thought to most daily routines.  If we are good at something in our jobs or our recreational life, we probably do our best when we don’t think too much.  And when driving home, you will give very little though to the sequence of automatic, reflexive decisions that get you safely in the driveway.  

Bottom line:  Automaticity is your friend, and your child’s friend.  Use it wisely. 

Any set of routine behaviors that can be automated will only serve to make our life better.  Any skillset we want to master will improve as we relax, surrender and create effortless engagement.  

When it comes to helping your children live a life of effortless ease, it is critical to learn how to automate their day to day routines.  The more these are automated in a way that requires little thought and few decisions on a daily basis, the easier that life will be.  

Why?  Because it frees up their time to focus on what’s really important.  They can focus on learning new ‘stuff’ that comes their way.  They can focus on enjoying their day.  They can focus on being with their friends.  

Consistent daily routines take advantage of the automatic brain!

One of the ways that we learn to move through our day in a somewhat automatic fashion is that we develop a consistent structure and routine, and we stick with it.  If there is a part of our day that can be turned into a routine, it’s a benefit to do this so that we’re not thinking about it or negotiating with ourselves.  We aren’t wasting time with decisions that should be predetermined; instead, we save our brain power for more important decisions.

The implications for this are enormous.  Not only can we teach kids how to automate their daily routines through a consistent structure (with few opportunities for negotiation), but we can begin to see how this eliminates most of the daily struggles around routines and responsibilities that can drive you crazy.  When routines are automated, there is no nagging, no reminding, no prodding, no arguing over the daily ‘stuff’ that just has to get done.  

This fails when you think YOU must manage it all.  This happens because you are using words to manage behavior, and that always ends up with compromising ease.  You are not at ease, and neither are they.  More importantly, they are not learning independence and their automatic brains are being thwarted by the continual inconsistencies, negotiations, arguments, and so on.  

So, please keep it simple.  I invite you to recognize the power of the automatic brain.  It’s always functioning.  It’s always working.  And the more that you take advantage of it, by limiting the negotiations, decision-making, and struggles around day to day events, the more your children will fall into a pattern where the day to day routines occur without angst, without stressful effort, and without waste of brain power.  It’s magic!  

Original Source: https://www.saratogian.com/2022/10/09/dr-randy-cales-terrific-parenting-the-power-of-automaticity-maximizing-your-childs-amazing-automatic-brain/