Capital District Neurofeedback Therapy

  Many of the parents I coach arrive at my office frustrated and exhausted, carrying a hefty list of past efforts that "should have worked." They've invested in counseling—sometimes for years—with the hope that a trained professional could talk their child into better behavior. Whether it's explosive tantrums that seem to escalate every month, a teen who refuses to engage with school or family, or a chronically defiant child who seems to thrive on conflict, these parents often share a similar story: counseling felt like a band-aid—if that. Home life continued to decline, and their child became more skilled at resisting change. Why does this happen? Why does counseling often fall short, even when led by caring, competent professionals? Let's look at what's really going on. Who Wants the Change? This is the single most crucial question to ask: Who is actually invested in making a change? In most of these cases, the parents are doing the heavy lifting. Mom is los...

  Parents often show up in my office mentally, emotionally, and physically tired. Not because they’re doing too little, but because they’re doing too much. Too much talking, too much coaxing, too much explaining, too much rescuing, too much… everything. And despite all this effort, things aren’t improving. In fact, they’re often getting worse. The kids are more demanding, not more respectful. More anxious, not more confident. More emotionally reactive, not calmer. More dependent, not independent. This came up just this week when a parent called for help with her 17-year-old daughter. She was still giving directions, reminders, and emotional pep talks as if her teen were six. Like many well-meaning parents, she didn’t realize that this constant over-involvement was part of the problem — not the solution. When “More” Becomes the Problem It’s a painful irony: the harder we try, the worse things seem to get. This isn’t because these parents aren’t loving, smart, or dedicated. They’ve f...

  Anxiety rarely storms in loudly. At least not at first. It slips in quietly—disguised as overthinking, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or the urge to control every detail. It feels like we’re solving problems or being responsible. But in truth, we’re training our brains to stay anxious. Fear feeds on attention. It thrives when we keep scanning for threats, rehearsing what-ifs, or obsessing over the future. The more attention we give it, the stronger those neural patterns become. Over time, anxiety stops feeling optional—it becomes the brain’s default. We start believing the thoughts that keep us circling the same worries, while anxious feelings quietly take over. Fear’s Stealth Strategy: Pay Attention! Here’s the challenge: fear doesn’t announce itself as fear. It hides behind helpful-looking behaviors—triple-checking plans, asking for reassurance, or avoiding discomfort. It convinces us it’s there to protect us. These patterns create the illusion of safety, but never bring peac...

  I hear it all the time from my clients — and it usually comes with a sheepish grin. “Dr. Cale, I know I said I was going to start meditating… but then my dog looked at me funny, and somehow Netflix just… happened.” Or,  “I absolutely planned to go to bed early — but then I got hungry, and then Instagram needed me, and well, here we are.” It’s charming, it’s human… and it’s utterly predictable. We all know what would make life better. Most people don’t need a shrink to tell them what’s best to do! But somehow, despite our best promises, we don’t always follow through. Let’s talk about why — and more importantly, what you can do about it. Why We Don’t Do What We Know is Good for Us Our brains chase immediate rewards. Your brain is wired to prioritize comfort and pleasure right now. It evolved to snag the quick win (food, shelter) rather than invest in long-term benefits. That’s why watching another episode feels easier than working out, even if you  know  better. Fee...